


Achilles, Come Down

by Nerdgoddess



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Introspection, POV Kevin Day, Song Lyrics, Suicidal Thoughts, im trying, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27276709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdgoddess/pseuds/Nerdgoddess
Summary: Kevin deals with the voices in his head.Inspiration, title, and lyrics from "Achilles, Come Down" by Gang of Youth.
Relationships: Kevin Day & Andrew Minyard, Kevin Day & David Wymack, Kevin Day & Riko Moriyama, Kevin Day & The Foxes (All For The Game)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Achilles, Come Down

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I keep listening to the song and hearing Kevin Day. I hope you enjoy it. I tried.
> 
> https://youtu.be/n5aMav6q-o0
> 
> Slanted words are Kevin's thoughts/people talking as his thoughts/song lyrics. Normal words are just Kevin.

Kevin stands on the roof in the chilly night breeze. He honestly should've brought a jacket but he wasn't thinking of it. He's mind was elsewhere, preoccupied by the warring voices inside. 

See recently, Kevin was extremely into Homer's Iliad and Achilles. By default, this also means his mind was filled with The Song of Achilles, Patroclus, and Agamemnon. The more Kevin thought about the struggle between the three, the more he saw their similarities to the voices in his head.

_ Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down _

_ Won’t you get up off, get up off the roof? _

Kevin has always found some solace in heights. He finds it peaceful, being above everything and everyone. The calm you feel when the only sound you can hear is the wind. But Kevin also knew too much of a good thing can be quite bad.

_ You’re scaring us and all of us, some of us love you _

He laughs to himself at that thought. When the foxes aren't screaming at each other, they're screaming at him. He knows they'd all prefer it if he was gone. All he ever did was bring trouble around then cower in the face of it. Who would love him?

_ Achilles, it’s not much but there’s proof _

_ You crazy-assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue _

_ Redemption lies plainly in truth _

Kevin wonders how that little voice in his head survived so long. How can it stay so hopeful, after everything?

_ Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down _

_ Won’t you get up off, get up off the roof? _

No.

_ The self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken _

_ Remember the pact of our youth _

The voice changes. From one familiar face to another. Andrew.

_ Where you go, I’m going, so jump and I’m jumping _

_ Since there is no me without you _

Even after everything, he still protects Kevin. Even though the deal is up. Even though he claims to hate him. After everything, he's still there.

_ Hurt and grieve but don’t suffer alone _

_ Engage with the pain as a motive _

The voice changes again. To one he knows just as well. To one Kevin has searched for similarities and comfort in. Wymack.

Wymack who took him in when he had no reason to. Wymack who let him stay after hearing the whole story. Wymack who promised to keep him safe, to give him a home. The man who gave him the strength and place to conquer. His father. 

_ Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now _

_ You are absent of cause or excuse _

The second voice interrupts. This voice seldom changes. Riko.

_ So self-indulgent and self-referential _

_ No audience could ever want you _

Kevin is back in the nest. It's just him and Riko. This is a conversation they've had many times before. At least he knows what to expect. 

_ You crave the applause yet hate the attention _

_ Then miss it, your act is a ruse _

_ It is empty, Achilles, so end it all now _

_ It's a pointless resistance for you _

He's right. Kevin Day is a fake. A ruse. People flock to him in herds, but if they ever knew. If they only knew. They would all leave. And all that would be left would be Kevin, ashamed and lonely. What's new?

_ Achilles, Achilles, just put down the bottle _

_ Don’t listen to what you’ve consumed _

He looks up at the new voices. Abby. Nicky. Renee.

_ It’s chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy _

_ Of feeding and it’s wholly untrue _

They are some of the kindest souls Kevin has ever met, regardless of how low the bar is.

_ You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing _

_ It’s all just conjecture and gloom _

_ And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it _

_ Do not waste yourself on this roof _

It's easier said than done. But for them, he would try.

_ Hear those bells ring deep in the soul _

_ Chiming away for a moment _

Matt. Aaron. Allison. He wasn't expecting to see them, but he's glad all the same.

_ Feel your breath course frankly below _

_ And see life as a worthy opponent _

If Kevin could fight side by side with them, he was sure he'd never lose.

Then it switches again.

_ You want the acclaim, the mother of mothers _

Kevin could never live up to his mother. Everyone knew that.

_ But be real and just jump, you dense motherfucker _

Kevin steps closer to the ledge. It would be easier to just go.

_ You will not be more than a rat in the gutter _

He takes another step. And another. Then-

_ (It’s not worth it, Achilles) _

He freezes.

_ (Don’t listen, Achilles) _

He's trying.

_ (You’re worth more, Achilles) _

He hopes he is.

_ (So much more than a rat) _

Not a rat. A fox.

_ You want my opinion, my opinion you’ve got _

_ (No one asked your opinion) _

_ You asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts _

_ (No one asked for your thoughts) _

Riko and the Foxes doing what they do best. Yelling.

_ Be done with this now and jump off the roof _

_ (Be done with this now and get off the roof) _

_ Can you hear me, Achilles? I’m talking to you _

He hears them. He hears them all. He just isn't sure who to listen to.

_ Achilles, come down _

Neil.

_ Achilles, come down _

Dan.

_ Throw yourself into the unknown _

_ With pace and a fury defiant _

They both made it where no one thought they could. Why couldn't Kevin?

_ Clothe yourself in beauty untold _

_ And see life as a means to a triumph _

If life wants to act like a game, Kevin will just have to win it.

_ Today of all days, see _

_ How the most dangerous thing is to love _

_ How you will heal and you’ll rise above _

_ Crowned by an overture bold and beyond _

_ Ah, it’s more courageous to overcome _

But not alone.


End file.
